My girlfriend does that to me ALL THE TIME and I really cannot stand it. That's probably the one thing she does that really pisses me off. She ALWAYS thinks something is wrong or that I'm hiding something. She is paranoid a lot of the time. I love her to death, don't get me wrong, but when I'm upset or angry or something, I can't talk about things right then and there. I need to cool off first and chill out and then I can calmly talk about what was bothering me. My girlfriend is the type of person that gets right in your face and won't leave you alone until you explode with anger from being so annoyed by it or unless you just tell her what's wrong. If I tell her what's bothering me in an angry tone or something, she'll wonder why I'm so angry and being able to tell her isn't good enough. It's like, people tell you to count to 10 and walk away to go cool off when you're angry, but she NEVER gives me that chance. She won't let me cool off. She automatically gets right in my face.
That's really the only reason we fight nowadays. We don't fight often, but when we fight, it's very intense and angry- at least on my part. I am not really an angry person and I really don't become this angry with anyone else, besides maybe my brother and my father, because they both don't listen well, which is actually the main cause of my girlfriend and I fighting. It's like she HEARS me but she isn't LISTENING to what I'm saying when I tell her "I need to go cool off," or "I really can't talk about this right now."
All in all, I'm writing this because my girlfriend and I just got done fighting, and I was very very blunt to her about what I just wrote about. So hopefully this won't happen again. HOPEFULLY.
2 comments:
Hi Meghan!
My husband does the exact same thing. He'll keep asking until there IS something wrong--he's made me angry where I wasn't before. I wish I had some sage words of advice, but I don't. I can't stop him from doing it either! I know he only does it 'cause he loves me and he's concerned about me, but it still irritates after a while.
Here's my advice ... take it or leave it.
If there is SOMETHING bothering you but you don't or can't talk about it at that very minute with your girlfriend then instead of saying, "Nothing." Which is in fact a lie because there is something wrong and she can sense it if she knows you as well as I think she probably does. Say something like, "I just can't talk about it right now. I'm sorting it out in my head. But I love you. And I will talk to you about it when I'm ready or when I'm done sorting through it."
It may not work. But it might work. She knows something is up with you and she's worried that it's something she's said or done or hasn't done. She's insecure and needs reassurance that you still love her and care about her and want to be with her. PLUS she loves you and cares about you and doesn't want to see you upset.
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